


if you allow me, i’ll love you.

by odetodun



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Smut, eddie is a panicked Gay, interalised homophobia, theres sex in this, they talk about losing virginities, we love caring richie tozier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 20:16:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13488951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odetodun/pseuds/odetodun





	if you allow me, i’ll love you.

Richie leaned back against the sofa, his arm still around Eddie’s shoulder - who was wrapped in Ben’s sweater.

“She wasn’t great, but we were fifteen and I didn’t really expect much” Richie shrugged, Eddie glared at the floor. Why they had to talk about losing their virginities was beyond Eddie. He wanted to get up, go to the bathroom and fucking crawl up and die - but he was tucked under Richie’s arm whilst everyone talked about sex.

“M-mine was last year, sh-she was a senior. I d-don’t really think it was great, but your f-f-first time never is” Bill shrugged, sipping his beer from where he was strewn across the sofa.

“Fifteen, like Richie, but she was good. We’d known each other a while, it was better than I expected” Mike shrugged, acting like it was nothing. Eddie bit the inside of his cheek, he took the bottle of alcohol from Richie and gulped it - not caring about the burning in his throat. Feeling eyes on him, he looked up to see Richie frowning slightly at him but then Stan started talking.

“About a year ago like Bill, a girl from Synagogue. I guess it was okay, wasn’t much to it” Stan was nonchalant like Mike, Eddie could’ve screamed.

“Well,” Bev laced her hand in Ben’s, “you guys already know”. The pair blushed and as much as Eddie usually loved them, he could’ve thrown up in his mouth at their cuteness. Suddenly very aware of the fact it was his fucking turn, Eddie moved away from Richie and stood up.

“I need to pee” Eddie squeaked, before bailing out of the room and towards Bill’s bathroom. He locked himself in, gripping the sink and staring down at the porcelain. Eddie the square, the boring one. Too afraid of germs to touch another human. That wasn’t the case, Eddie is more scared of who he wants to touch. Girls had never appealed to Eddie, he found them pretty but he wasn’t attracted to them. There was a knock on the door that pulled Eddie from his thoughts with a jump.

“E-Eddie?” Bill called, Eddie unlocked the door and sat on the toilet seat.

“You ok-kay?” Bill asked as he sat on the edge of the bath, eyeing his best friend.

“I’m a fucking virgin Bill” Eddie exclaimed, hands flying around him. Bill didn’t laugh, nor did he look pitiful. He just smiled.

“That’s okay Eddie, no one g-gives a sh-shit” Bill told him, Eddie laughed bitterly.

“It’s easy for you to say, and all of them. You’d give a shit if you knew why” Eddie snapped, hyperaware that Bill was studying him. Eddie stood up, moving out of the bathroom and towards Bill’s room.

“Tell them I’m not very well, I’ll see you in school Monday” Eddie said as he grabbed his things, ignoring Bill’s protests as he left the house in a hurry.   
     Eddie walked into school Monday, hi head ducked down as he walked past his friends. He just wanted to get to class, he didn’t need any of them questioning him about his disappearing act on Friday.

“You can’t avoid me f-forever” Bill stepped in front of him, Eddie almost crashed straight into him.

“Bill I really-“ Eddie was cut off by Bill dragging him into the boys toilets. The freshman cleared out when they saw Bill come in, Eddie sighing loudly at their absence.

“What the f-f-fuck Eddie?” Bill looked annoyed, Eddie wiped his hand over his face.

“You’ll hate me Bill, I promise-“

“You’re gay, so fucking what? Sorry, I know you’re meant to wait for your friends to tell you but stop this shit Eddie! You think I see you any differently because you like boys” Bill voice was sharp but quiet, his lack of stutter taking Eddie aback.

“You knew?” Eddie squeaked out.

“Of course, I wouldn’t be a v-very Good best f-friend if not. Ed, I don’t c-care if you like boys” Bill stepped forward, pulling Eddie into a tight hug.

“I’m in love with Richie” Eddie mumbled into his chest, this time Bill did fucking gasp.

“What?! Okay, wait you’re not j-joking?” Bill questioned, blue eyes staring brightly at him.

“No! Bill I’m a fucking idiot” Eddie was still smushed against Bill’s chest, Eddie didn’t really want to move in that moment. But, the bell rang shrill around them and Eddie wasn’t going to miss bio.

“This isn’t over” Bill told him as they parted ways, Eddie inhaled deeply before making his way to his class.   
     Bill offered to drive him home, Richie frowning at the pair. Eddie knew he usually rode with Richie, but Bill was taking him home so he could question him about Eddie’s confession.

“Uh- Eds?,” Richie asked just as Eddie was about to get into Bill’s car, “I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning?”.

“Sure, see you then” Eddie smiled before ducking into Bill’s car and waving Richie off.

“So, you’re in love with R-Richie?” Bill asked, eyebrow quirking.

“Yes, I have been since we were fifteen maybe. It wasn’t like a random thing, I think it’s almost always been there somewhere” Eddie figured he’d be honest now he didn’t have anything to hide.

“That’s a long f-fucking time” Bill sighed, Eddie laughed sarcastically.

“Trust me, I know,” Eddie stared out of the window, “he’s so painfully straight”.

“You sh-shouldn’t assume” Bill was trying to be helpful, but it wasn’t working. He pulled up outside Eddie’s and Eddie grabbed his bag from the footwell.

“This stays between us Billy, thank you” Eddie said and Bill nodded before he drove away. Eddie knew he should still be scared but something about telling Bill made him feel less uneasy, like he finally had someone he could talk to instead of bottling it all up. He noted his mothers absence, a note on the table informing Eddie she’d back at seven - four hours from now. He dropped his bag in the hallway, grabbing a glass of water before heading up to his room.

“Jesus fuck!” Eddie screamed as he opened the door, Richie tumbling off the desk chair and onto the floor.

“Richie, why the fuck are you in my room?” Eddie shouted, Richie stood up sheepishly.

“Right, you were really annoyed at me and I figured I fucked up somehow - then you got a ride home with Bill, which you never do so I knew I’d done something to hosed you,” Richie took a deep breath, “so I fucking sped here and snuck through your window and it probably wasn’t the best option seeing as you’re glaring at me but I’m sorry”.

“You talk to much,” Eddie sighed, sitting on the end of his bed, “you haven’t done anything”.

“Then what’s going on? You played fucking Houdini Friday night then went ghost on us all weekend and you didn’t even call for a ride this morning?” Richie sat down across from Eddie, their knees almost knocking together.

“Was it what we were talking about?” Richie asked, Eddie glared at him.

“Don’t you fucking dare-“

“Don’t be presumptuous that I’m gonna be an ass Eddie,” Richie cut him off, Eddie’s stare softened slightly, “I don’t care if you haven’t had sex. None of the other losers do either”. Richie wasn’t laughing, Eddie had half expected Richie to get a few chucks out of Eddie being the only virgin in the group.

“It’s okay for all of you, you’ve had sex” Eddie bit his bottom lip, staring down at his entwined hands.

“Look, I lost it to someone that wasn’t special to me. It was a mess and I regretted it. Just wait for the right person Eddie, whenever that person comes along” Richie spoke honestly, hiding his own face behind his curls. Richie was really beautiful, Eddie thought to himself. Eddie didn’t speak, just inhaled and exhaled deeply. Not really wanting to have this conversation anymore, he went to change the subject but Richie started again.

“You’ll fall in love, with someone, and you’ll know it’s the right person. Sex can be fun, but I think it’s meant to be special y’know” Richie finally looked up, dark blue eyes meeting Eddie’s chocolate ones. Eddie nodded slowly, he’d already fallen in love and it wasn’t like the movies - it was painful and a burden. Richie pulled Eddie from his thoughts that a hand on his cheek. Eddie melted into the touch involuntarily.

“Eds I-“

“Don’t Richie, please” Eddie moved Richie’s hand, shuffling away from him until his back hit the wall. Richie let his hand drop, eyebrows furrowed together in thought.

“I thought I’d found someone special, I thought that the girl was special. But my special person was in front of me all along and I was too fucking dumb to see it” Richie said, Eddie stared at him.

“Please don’t pretend Rich, that’s not fair” Eddie squeaked, voice showing how overwhelmed he was. Eddie hadn’t expected this, Richie wasn’t in to boys that way.

“Eds, you know I’m shit with feelings. There’s no way I can pretend” Richie said after a few beats. Eddie moved forward, pressing his lips softly against Richie’s. Richie kissed back, more experienced than Eddie but still gentle and careful.

“God, that’s better than I ever imagined” Richie said after they pulled apart, resting his forehead against Eddie’s. Eddie smiled, a relief washing over him. Richie liked him back, Richie wanted him in the way Eddie always had.   
     They weren’t quiet about their feelings, the losers are figured it out quickly that they were together. They had to hide it in school, it would’ve been far too risky for the pair of them.

“I want it to be special for him y’know, I don’t want him to feel pressured either” Eddie stopped in his tracks, Richie’s voice travelling around the corner.

“You’ll know when he’s ready. If you don’t, just talk to him about it” Bev replied, Eddie bit the inside of his cheek. He knew what they were talking about.

“I see how the pair of you look at each other, you’ll both know when it’s time” Stan said, Eddie waited a few seconds before joining the trio. Richie grinned, lacing his arm over Eddie’s shoulder as soon as he’d approached them.

“Did you want to give me a ride home? Moms out for a few hours again” Eddie asked, Richie nodded as they walked out of school together.

“See you later losers” Bev said, Stan waving them off whilst throwing a quick glance at Richie. The ride home was quiet, Richie’s left hand placed gently on Eddie’s thigh. They’d been touchy with each other since they were kids, been in a relationship only meant the touches were a little bit easier and less questionable.   
       Eddie unlocked the front door, Richie following him up to his room. They flopped down onto the bed together, Eddie resting his head on Richie’s shoulder and throwing an arm over his stomach.

“Eds, can I tell ya something?” Richie carded his fingers lazily through Eddie’s hair as he spoke, Eddie hummed in response.

“I don’t want you to feel y’know, pressured or anything but whenever you’re ready I’m here” Richie kissed the top of his head, Eddie shifted so he was looking up at Richie.

“Thank you, I know you are” Eddie pressed a soft kiss to Richie’s jawline, the pair melting into each other. Eddie wasn’t ready yet, he knew he would be - but not yet.   
      They were walking home from Bill’s, it was late enough for them to be able to lace their hands together and no one would notice. Richie was telling an elaborate story, free hand flying everywhere as he spoke. Eddie watched on, a soft smile on his face.

“Ma and Dad are at some work function tonight, did you want to stay over?” Richie asked, as they neared his.

“Of course” Eddie agreed, so the pair went into Richie’s together.

“Rich” Eddie stopped them when they got into Richie’s slightly messy room. Richie sat on the bed, hand still entwined with Eddie’s.

“I think I’m ready” Eddie was blushing, he could feel it all over his skin. Richie’s eyes widened briefly, his bottom lip pulled into between his teeth.

“Are you sure?,” Richie pulled his hand so Eddie slotted in between his knees, “we don’t have to rush anything”. Eddie bent down, pressing a soft kiss to Richie’s lip to ease the worrying there.

“I’m ready” Eddie smiled, feeling safe where he was. Richie pulled Eddie to he stumbled onto the bed, Eddie lying on his back and Richie hovering over him.

“You tell me to stop if you change your mind, I want you to want this Eddie - it’s got to be on your terms” Richie told him, it was one of the first times Richie had ever looked serious. Eddie reached up to kiss him, taking Richie’s curls in his hand.

“I want this Rich, very much” Eddie grinned against his boyfriends lips. Richie kissed him, passionate but slow - Eddie hooking an arm around Richie’s shoulders as he moved from Eddie’s mouth to his neck. Richie pressed soft kisses down the column of Eddie’s exposed throat, Eddie pulling involuntarily at Richie’s hair. This coaxed a groan from Richie, Eddie did it again and Richie stared at him with hooded eyes.

“I really fucking like it when you do that” Richie drawled, Eddie smirked up at him with that faint blush still covering his cheeks. Richie moved to take of his shirt, throwing it beside the bed and toying with the hem of Eddie’s.

“This okay?” Richie asked and Eddie nodded in response, allowing Richie to take off his shirt. Richie’s fingers ghosted against Eddie’s rib cage, a shiver taking hold of Eddie. He’d never been very confident about his body, he had baby fat in some places that seemed persistent to stay. But the way Richie was looking at him made him feel like he was beautiful. Richie bent down again, to kiss Eddie softly. Friction pressed between their crotches, Eddie gasping at the pleasure shooting through him.

“God” Richie dropped his head to Eddie’s collarbone as he grinded against Eddie again.

“Please” Eddie spoke breathlessly.

“Tell me what you want baby” Richie’s voice was low and commanding, Eddie liked this side of him.

“I want you to fuck me” Eddie said, Richie almost choking at the words. Richie went for his belt but Eddie stopped him, undoing Richie’s jeans as he stared into his eyes. Richie was biting on his bottom lip, Eddie could see the affect he was having on him. Richie chucked his jeans to the floor, Eddie in the process of taking his off.

“God, you’re so pretty Eds” Richie said as he took in the view beneath.

“Stop being a sap” Eddie giggled, heat flushing over him. Richie stroked his hands over Eddie’s chest and stomach, thumbs catching Eddie’s nipples and enticing a moan.

“Hurry up pretty boy” Eddie said, Richie grinning as he toyed with the waist band of Eddie’s boxers.

“I need to know you’re sur-“

“I want this Richie, honestly” Eddie said so Richie pulled his boxers down with a quick movement.

“I’ve got to get you ready first, if I go straight in it’ll hurt to much” Richie told him, leaning over Eddie to retrieve lube from his bedside drawer. Eddie watched in anticipation as Richie covered his fingers and spread Eddie’s thighs.

“Okay baby,” Richie pushed a finger in and Eddie felt his toes curl at the sensation, his hand flying to plant itself on Richie’s exposed chest. He was speechless, moans falling out of him as Richie worked his way up to two fingers.

“So pretty underneath me baby, so pretty” Richie all but cooed, Eddie pulled him down to kiss him again.

“Tell me to stop if this hurts” Richie said as he added a third finger, it stung and Eddie felt it but the pleasure was too much to tell Richie to stop. Eddie was whining, his mouth parted slightly as obscene sounds fell from him. Eddie shifted at the loss of Richie’s fingers, Richie reaching over to retrieve the condom and rip it open with his teeth. Eddie watched as Richie rid himself of his boxers and couldn’t help but gasp.

“For all that talk Trashmouth, you weren’t lying” Eddie quipped and Richie chuckled.

“Impressed Kaspbrak?” Richie asked, leaning to kiss Eddie’s jaw.

“Just fuck me” Eddie whispered in his ear, tugging slightly at Richie’s hair.

“As you wish” Richie placed Eddie’s thigh on top of his own so Eddie was more open.

“This might hurt baby, tell me to slow down. It’s your call” Richie said and Eddie cried out as Richie pushed inside him.

“Oh fuck, fuck” Eddie whined, his hands gripping Richie’s arms tightly. Richie was slow, allowing Eddie to adjust. Eddie could feel the heat from them both, they were sweaty and panting and Eddie still found Richie beautiful.

“More” Eddie breathed out, Richie placed his hand next to Eddie’s head and pushed further in - rocking his hips back and forth at an agonisingly slow pace. Eddie was making the best noises, curse words and breathless moans falling from him.

“Can you go faster?” Eddie asked, Richie chuckled at the politeness. He quickened his pace, Eddie’s moans getting louder as he did so.

“Oh jesus, oh Richie” Eddie moaned out, Richie used his free hand to hold Eddie’s thigh so he could get a better angle. Richie knew he’d got the right angle when Eddie’s head fell back onto the pillow and his sounds became silent. Richie was going quicker now, his own orgasm building up inside of him.

“So beautiful underneath me like this, could look at you forever baby” Richie praised Eddie, the boy getting more and more flustered. Eddie raked his nails down Richie’s back as he came with a shout of Richie’s name and completely untouched. The sight alone was enough for Richie, a few more thrusts and Richie was spilling into the condom.

“Shit” Richie collapsed on top of Eddie, who whined as Richie pulled out of him.

“That was-“ Richie stopped, shakily moving to see Eddie smiling down at him blissfully.

“That was amazing” Eddie smiled fondly, Richie moved to kiss him gently. He grabbed a t shirt from the floor, cleaning them both up before he cuddled into Eddie.

“Are you okay?” Richie whispered, kissing underneath Eddie’s ear.

“More than, I uh- I love you” Eddie spoke into the darkness, Richie’s breath caught in his throat.

“I love you too” Richie pulled Eddie closer, the pair falling asleep wrapped around each other.

 


End file.
